


and i was afraid-

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Genre: Happy Ending, I have no idea how to tag, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Lesbian Character, POV First Person, it's what the first paragraph is, we're venting in this quarantine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23474254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Lin Manuel Miranda once wrote, “and I was afraid if I told you i was afraid then you would be afraid."A few paragraphs about past trauma, healing, and "Being Queer In A Cishet Family, Neighborhood, And School With No Knowledge Of The LGBTQ+ Community"
Comments: 1





	and i was afraid-

Lin Manuel Miranda once wrote, “and i was afraid if I told you i was afraid then you would be afraid,” which I can continue and say that then I was afraid neither of us would be able to do anything. And then I’d say, “i was afraid if I didn’t say anything then it’d never get better,” and “i was afraid that if did say something you’d think differently of me,” and then “I was afraid if I told you you’d confront him,” and “I was afraid that if you confronted him you’d get hurt,” and lord knows I wouldn’t have been able to handle it if you got hurt. And I was afraid of my own feelings, and I was afraid of processing it all, and I was afraid of dealing with it, and I was afraid of not healing and I was afraid of the hurt of healing, and I was afraid, afraid, afraid.

And then I spoke up. And then I told a friend. And then we talked about it. And then I got more open about it. And it was scary, every time, and I don’t think I ever really stopped being afraid. I just learned to contain the afraidness. And then a friend told me, “do you know what a lesbian is?” and I didn’t, and I learned, and then I wasn’t so afraid anymore. And another friend said “Do you know what being nonbinary is?” and I didn’t, and I learned, and I’ve spliced together my identity based in learning, always learning, and learning how to not be afraid. I’ve got my community and my flags and my people, and my family who’s not my “family” but are better than my biological any day, even though they weren’t why I was afraid in the first place. I was afraid, afraid, afraid, and sometimes I still am- absolutely terrified, but I learned how to cope with it, and I want to help other people learn to not be quite so afraid. 

and I was afraid, and now I’m not.


End file.
